Acceptance
by Arianna Waters
Summary: Ariana feels frustration fill her whenever she is proven different by actions of her family, even as she works hard to fit in, until she finally accepts herself for what she is. [Warning: Implied sort-of suicide]


_A/N — I changed the timeline a bit in regard to when Kendra dies._

 **Acceptance**

She doesn't know much, for she has unknowingly locked away the memories prior to the _incident._ What she does know without doubt is that she is different.

It is clear in the way they try to hide their wands when they know she is around — not that Aberforth has one yet. It is clear in how her mother glances at her whenever Aberforth summons one of Albus' books. It is clear in the way her brothers roughhouse with each other but treat her like a delicate, fragile flower.

Aberforth helps her learn to walk, though she has heard Albus mutter why she would forget how to do _that_ after…

Mother always keeps an eye on her even as the other two frolic around outside the house. Ariana is given dolls to play with. There are some sticks which leave different-coloured lines on the parchment when Ariana rubs them against it — Albus calls them crayons — and there are stuffed-toys which squeak when she presses their middles. Yet, she is confined to the house — to her room, in fact, for most times — and it frustrates her. She yearns to go out, more so as her brothers bring back stories each day, of birds flying and meadows full of butterflies, of a water-well and a forest nearby.

It is Aberforth, in the end, who manages to take her outside, not understanding why their mother insists she stay in. He sneaks her out when their mother is away for shopping, and Ariana leaves the house.

The villagers notice a little girl who hasn't been around in a long time. She is pale due to the lack of sunlight, but it is not long after that she is skipping about, her knees stained green from where she fell, laughing, in a patch of grass as Aberforth pushed her lightly.

Her brother leads her through the streets, Ariana taking in each sight, sound, smell hungrily, and towards the edge of the village where there are flowers and butterflies. One look at the flowers, though, and Ariana _screams_. It brings back emotions from an incident she had locked away, and though the memories do not come forth, the feelings that run through her are painful.

Someone gets Kendra, who soothes the hysterical girl, and two mornings later, the mother of the three informs them they are leaving the village.

oOo

It is only a few days after they move to Godric's Hollow that an owl delivers a letter to the oldest Dumbledore child, his name written in green ink on the envelope. They try to hide it from her, even as Aberforth, who doesn't even like Albus, gushes about the letter. She wants to be included, too, and when she pushes, she is sent to her room, to her immense frustration.

Two days later, Kendra takes Albus to Diagon Alley, leaving Mrs. Bagshot, one of the handful of people who know Ariana exists, as the babysitter.

Aberforth is left behind, so that Ariana doesn't feel alone — as if she already doesn't — and he snaps at her, calling her a squib and blaming her as the reason why he couldn't visit the alley, too. He apologises a minute later, promising he is sorry for belittling her in such a way, and telling her how he loves her so much despite her not having magic, but Ariana has already latched on to one thought.

She knows what makes her different. She doesn't do magic like Albus does when he makes his wooden soldier dance around the room and how Aberforth summons the elder brother's things to rile him up. That is why they treat her differently. That is why Albus hates her and Aberforth acts all smothering towards her and her mother gives her looks every so often.

Well, they are _wrong_ , Ariana knows. She does have magic. From that day on, she tries to make things move, concentrating as hard as she can. To her frustration, nothing happens. Yet, she doesn't give up.

She forgets about it often. Sometimes, it is days before she remembers her resolution to prove her magic. But when she does remember, she tries her best to make it do things like her brothers do — her mother is always careful not to perform magic in her vicinity.

She continues to try and fail, even as Albus leaves for school. Months turn to years, and it is two summers after that when another owl — one that does not belong to Albus — arrives at the Dumbledore household, a letter addressed to Aberforth in green ink clutched in its talons.

Her younger brother whoops as he reads through it, and the piece of parchment is openly fawned over by everyone in the house as they think Ariana is napping in her bedroom upstairs. The girl in question, who has gotten better at hiding and observing in the last two years, watches her family from the landing of the staircase.

That evening, with her frustration at its peak, as Ariana tries to summon a glass ornament from the shelf, it _explodes._

Everyone is concerned, yet Ariana is delighted. She does have magic. She will go to Hogwarts, the school that her brothers talk about so much, too.

Her now unrestrained magic gets away from her often, after this incident, and things continue to get destroyed in the Dumbledore household, with Kendra working hard to cover them up. The girl responsible, however, has no qualms about this, and her mind is at peace again as she waits for the next three years to pass by quickly.

Which they do, even as Ariana's uncontrolled magic continues to wreak havoc around the house. Aberforth, whenever he is home, tries to placate the growing girl, and Albus resents her, sure that one day their neighbours will take notice and that someone will take their mother away just as they did with their father.

All the while, Ariana continues doing what she believes is practising her magic.

oOo

Three years later, just as Ariana is busy crossing out another day from her rudimentary calendar — seven days to go until her birthday — a small pop is heard outside the house. Albus, who is home for the holidays, admits a middle-aged man, Ariana notices from where she hid herself after hearing the door open. The man introduces himself to Kendra as Armando Dippet, the Deputy Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and explains calmly to Kendra that though Ariana has magic, it is too raw and unrefined to be of use. Hence, Hogwarts cannot accept her, and it would be better if Kendra would have it bound at St. Mungo's.

Ariana feels her rage rising, her magic swivelling within her, and tries to push it down, hard, knowing by instinct that something bad will happen if she lets go of it. Albus shows Mr. Dippet to the door and goes out to meet with the new boy he has made friends with. All the while, Ariana's temper is mounting, as is her frustration in her inability to control her _magic._

Finally, it snaps, and Ariana knows no more.

She comes around to Aberforth sitting by her side, amidst the rubble, tear stains on his cheeks. When he notices her awake, he hugs her tight, letting her sob into his chest. Albus is nowhere to be seen.

Later, Ariana learns that the magical backslash killed the only person who had been in the house at that time — her mother.

She resents herself for it, wishing she had been like her brothers.

oOo

Fourteen-year-old Ariana stares at the squabble going on in front of her — Aberforth, Albus and Gellert, Albus' best friend, are all fighting about _her_.

Gellert calls her a deadweight who is holding Albus down from his true potential. Albus stays quiet, but everyone knows he agrees with Gellert's opinion. Aberforth, ever the loving brother, calls her a little girl who has no control over her magic.

She is both, Ariana feels, and she is neither.

She is different, Ariana knows, she always has been. She didn't realise until just now, but she has long since accepted herself — even despite the fact that she killed her mother. What she has always been waiting for was acceptance from her family, and now she knows she will never have it — Albus will continue to belittle her with his indifference and his wish that she never existed, and Aberforth will always smother her with his overprotectiveness. Though she doesn't know much, she _knows_ that they will both be happier without her.

She grabs onto this thought, even as it wrestles to escape, disrupting the almost-always serenity of her mind. And with that, she steps forward. She is different; she is the one who doesn't belong, and she has finally accepted it. If there should be another death because of her, it should be _she_ , Ariana, who falls.

She takes another step, her gait unsteady, and then another and another, until she is almost in the line of fire. With a shout, she leaps, her hands outstretched in a sign to _stop_ , though as she looks at her wide-open arms, she feels ready to embrace _something_.

Her brothers halt mid-move and yell at her to step aside, even as they see the previous spells flying at her. It is a split second, even though it seems like forever, before the bright lights she had loved and then come to hate strike her, and she falls, feeling free for the first time in as long as she could remember, calm that had always lived within her now surrounding her, and she embraces the feeling of acceptance and peace.

* * *

 **1626 words  
Written for QLFC by Beater 2 of Falmouth Falcons  
**Prompt: Halloween: Resurrection (2002), Optional Prompts: (emotion) frustration, (word) belittle.


End file.
